When I first began the grieving processthe first grief counselor that I met with told me a story of a man that used to take a beach chair to the cemetary every morning with his coffee and the paper. He would sit, drink the coffee, and have a conversation with his wife.
I somehow found that comforting as Joe and I shared so many things just between ourselves, I felt I had no one else to talk to. He was buried in Mid-October and to this day (except for one bad snowstorm), I visit him at lunch for a few minutes and tell him everything that is going on. This works for me as the cemetary is close and sits overlooking a pond - so the proximity and peacefulness of the area - helps. It may not be a healthy thing to do - to hold on in this way - but it helps... a little. I may have been better off to stay away for awhile but I needed to be as close as I could be now. I also think at first somewhere in my head I did not believe it as Joe's death was so sudden and unexpected that I went to help it sink in and work on some of the closure- if that makes sense.
I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer, each person handles grief in their own way.
- Linda G